*The website is in the usual disheveled state you have come to expect. The Webmaster is in the corner, packing myriad objects into various cardboard boxes of haphazard size. He looks up at you and greets you with a warm but stressed expression.*

Oh, hello again. I would do the usual apoligizing about having this space be so... sparse... with the corresponding implication that such directly reflects upon my own state of accomplishments. Such an assessment would in fact not be inaccurate, as far as important stuff like art and the like goes.

On the more dull domestic side, though, big things have been occuring! A house has been purchased! I am in the process of transitioning out of the apartment! So much Banking! So much Lawyering! But all that should now be behind me! Now, simply... so much packing! So very much packing! BOXES! I NEED MORE BOXES!

I am a fearsome boooooox ghooooooost! Ooooooooh! Fear me!

Beyond that... what else... well, just getting back from Phoenix counts, I suppose! Yup... trade show time again.

So, on that note... GREETINGS FROM PHOENiX!!!

Yes, I'll just get this out of the way: Phoenix was warm, sunny, and dry. Quite unlike Winnipeg's cold, snowy, flooding state of affairs. If it is any consolation, or at least deflects any green-eyed jealousy, know that I was indoors for the vast majority of my time here, so one wouldn't exactly say I was 'soaking up the rays'.

The trade show was alright, if a little sparce. One might even call it a bit lonely. Relatively small show, not a lot of people. Work-wise, I would count it a success... saw a couple suppliers and thingamathings that could be of great help. so horay, not a fully wasted week.

Having the Hotel network (maybe) give my laptop a virus on the second day... that was less fun. Now I don't know for sure that it is a real virus... the computer is being as well behaved as is its default state, but the Symantic anti-virus is having coniptions here. I have a suspicion the complaining is just a false negative on the stuff the hotel uses to log that you've paid the daily internet fee. But... I don't want to be on it. So I disabled my lovely access to work e-mail. Which was painful... I wanted to keep abrest of things back home. Le sigh, as the french would say. (If they were feeling particularly silly. Which I shall presume to be the case. Because I HAVE THAT POWER.)

The city of Phoenix is kinda odd. They've got their own insignia, don't you know! And they put it EVERYWHERE. I mean seriously, *I* don't put my insignia as much places as Phoenix does. Now don't get me wrong, I can certainly empathize! It served a purpose! I definately never forgot that I was in Phoenix! No walking down the street and wondering where the Ypsi plant went! But its ubiquitousness was almost... militaristic... in a way? But perhaps that is but due to an association between eagle-like bird profiles and empires. It speaks perhaps to my own perceptions rather then the reality of the place.

I did not get killed in any drug violence, which was appreciated. Apparently that is somewhat a concern. An odd note: while there were no small amount of pan-handlers of various stripes, they were oddly passive. There were no feelings of threat or danger, compared to the aggressiveness often encountered in downtown Winnipeg, where I can't make the same claim. But again, perhaps my own biases are showing here. I freely admit that possibility.

Anyway... leisurely stuff. Not so much of it. Again... trade show. Took up most my time, and ending at 5 means most other places to see closed then themselves. Restaurants were by and large the only thing I did. And it bears mentioning that there were generally quite awesome, actually. This one place, Sam's Cafe, a Southwest fusion establishment, actually served me the second best steak I've had in my life. Best is still that Japanese restaurant in Ann Arbor. But the chile-rubbed sirloin at Sam's was *exquisite*. I'm not sure what I think about the fact that the tastiest steaks have so far been in the States. Isn't beef supposed to be a reasonably proficient Alberta export? Because so far they are coming up short. :(

As the show ended at noon here on Thursday, I did have the chance to stroll over to get some culture. Saw the Phoenix historical museum. Was historical. Went to the Science Centre. Was MUCH sCIENCE!!! Glee! It was by and large a kids-themed establishment, yes, but it was huge and it was full of awesome. Plus, they had a Star Trek exhibit! The relationship to SCIENCE!!! therein was tenuous at best, I've got to say. Was more theme park then place of learning. But they had a life-size mockup of the bridge of the USS Enterprise-D. Which you could walk around in. And was told to go ahead and have a seat in Picard's chair. IT WAS NEAT.

Oh, and there was a planitarium show about black holes. Narrated by John DeLacie (aka: Q). It was alright. Then they did a constellation thing, and the guide kept saying 'orientated' when she should have been saying "oriented". Had to muffle the urge to correct her loudly. Such is a place of SCIENCE! Defile not the learning of the youth with your poor grammar!

Awareness regarding relative darkness of pots and kettles vis-a-vis the topic of grammer correctness is already possessed. It need not be pointed out.

Anyway, with that, the Phoenix trip was completed. There be the flight back. It be Westjet. It thusly be of minimal hassle. I remain quite fond of that entity.

But I ramble here. There remains packing to be done. Did I mention I now have a house? With things like keys! And floors! And sidewalks! So exciting!

- Paladinian

Greetings from one formerly on a boat!

It is I, the world traveler. Well, American traveler. Okay, North-and-Central-America traveler. But I was on an ocean, at least! That counts for something, right? I mean, I haven't crossed an ocean yet, but I still count for the 'traveler' achievement, right? Yes?

No?

Maybe?

Anyway. I'll confess I don't actually much feel like writing this... there is so much of it, and it kinda feels like a 'what I did on my summer vacation' assignment, which being still away from work and all, seems antithetical.

However, collecting some thoughts while they are fresh is likely for the best. And, you know, sociability. Maybe one of you are curious. I dunno.

Anywho... the trip. Left Wednesday. Flight was thankfully uneventful. Rental car was silly about adding Dad as a driver, but blargh. Hotel was near. We went to Outback Steakhouse for supper, at my suggestion. I consumed heartily of the Bloomin' Onion(tm). There was much rejoicing. (Yaaaa!)

Let it be known once again that I love that gosh darned onion. Dear mercy they are tasty. I am addicted to that damn onion. It calls me. It says 'Good day, mate. I'm an anthropomorphized Australian-themed battered and lightly seasoned fried onion served with a delightful orange dip. CONSUME ME.'

... when I put it that way, actually, that's kinda really freaky.

Moving on.

We went to Busch Gardens on Thursday. It was a Zoo / Amusement Park hybrid. Namely, rollercosters and nature habitats. It was *slick*. The animals looked happy. The roller coasters were the best of my life... easily. The Shiek'Ra ride was amazing... I actually got Mom to come with me. It takes you up to 200ft… dangles you... then drops at a 90-degree angle. Then it does it again, but this time you plunge through a castle tower, then twist around through a lake with the spray behind you... most awesome. We've got a picture. Mom looks like she wishes she hadn't gone. :)

Me? How do I look? Bald, mostly. This makes me sad.

Oh yes, and Mama-Luke, who presently is watching over my shoulder as I type this, says 'Hi!', and asks me to relay this to you. I thus do so. Obligations complete, I continue.

Friday, we went to Disney World, Epcot Center. I must say, this was fun, even without various Square-Enix characters running around in a weird crossover babbling on in some fashion or other about the daaaaahkness.

Oh yes, and Mom says Granny says "hi". But Granny is sitting next to me, and I didn't hear her say so. I don't think Mom should be putting words in her mouth like that. She may have no desire whatsoever to talk to you fine upstanding rapscallions after all. To imply such unilaterally, without her consent, is a tad presumptuous.

Mentioning this has resulted in Granny going ahead and affirming the greeting now. This she does in fact do most vigorously. So the above is no longer a false-hood, I suppose.

Oh, and Mom now also wants you to know for some reason that it is "sunny, sunny, sunny, here in Florida". Why she wants to taunt and torture you so I don't know. Perhaps she is mean. Such is uncharacteristic of her.

Also, perhaps she will let me get on with things here? Yes? :)

Okay. Epcot.

No, wait... calling me to board the plane. Should do that first.

Okay, I'm back. And my right ear doesn't want to de-pressurize. Glee. I got a throat infection second day of the cruise, and I guess it did make its way up the ear after all. Damn it, I love traveling, but this bleach sensitivity is *really* causing consternation. I brought my own darned sheets, towel, and pillow-case this time, which helped for a couple days, but sure enough, the bleach eventually concentrates enough to lay siege on my trachea, my immune system collapses, and there we go. Throat infection, cold sores, contact rashes. This portion of my physiology has ascended my Colbert-inspired 'On Notice' list at an alarming rate.

So it is likely quite understandable that I really, really look forward to sleeping in my own non-chlorinated bed. Grumble. Whine. Complain.

But back on to the itemization. Epcot was actually quite awesome. The ride through the dome was slick and creepy. They take your picture at some point. Later on they paste it on a cartoon figure to show your custom "world of tomorrow". Let it be known the facial edge tracking handles Tilley hats in a fascinatingly distorted way. :)

The Mission to Mars ride was amazing! Video Gary Sinese welcomed all us Mars Explorer candidates to the program, gave us missions (I was Commander), and then we got to hit buttons inside the 'spacecraft' as it spun us in the G-Force simulator and pretended we were launching to Mars. The G-Forces were quite impressive, and the button pushing (besides being generally fun because it involved pushing BRIGHT, ALLURING, DANGEROUSLY BLINKY BUTTONS) was an effective hook because raising your arms to do so really let you feel the effect of the spinning. I loved it!

The rest of the rides were okay. The 'Honey I Shrunk the Audience' 3D show was a dud... we first had to stand through a freakin' TWENTY MINUTE commercial for Kodak (the ride sponsor) before we could sit down for the show, which lasted 5 minutes before they stopped it and told us to leave, presumably because of technical difficulties. (Some of the real foreground pieces didn't really merge properly through the glasses.) Or, they just wanted us to go our and sit through that commercial again. Anyway, the whole thing pissed me off and filled me with disdain for Kodak. Raging Luke, grrr!

The World Pavilion was alright. Very touristy. That's its thing, yes, but still. The Canadian pavilion, unsurprisingly, denies that anything exists between Calgary and Toronto. We simply... don't... exist.

We did stay for the fireworks, which have something of a reputation of excellence. SWEET. MERCY. They were incredible. They had a barge in the lake whose job it was was to launch jets of fire halfway across the lake in time with the music. The heat and light off that was WOW. Then the LASERS came out. And the explosions. It was an experience.

And that was that for Disney World!

Saturday, we went to Universal Studios!

The Universal Studios park itself was mostly... blah... I'll confess. Though the Simpsons ride was quite, quite awesome, but made every single other member of the family badly motion sick. It was one of those simulator roller coasters... there is a dome screen above, and the cart does not roll but rather is on arms that pitch it in all directions. I imagine there was a lag between image and motion though, which did not make for happy stomachs.

The Jaws ride would really have needed alcohol to be anything but cheese. :)

The Mummy roller coaster was alright. There was fire. IMPRESSIVE fire. Like, fire crawling all over the ceiling not very far above our heads. I don't know how they were able to safety THAT.

Attached to Universal Studios was their Adventure Island park, which was far superior.

The Hulk rollercoaster was alright. Started out strong, petered out. The Spiderman ride was a technological marvel. Part roller coaster, part 3D film, it was surprisingly effective... it often seemed that video Spiderman, when he jumped on the cart, actually *was* right there in front of you. I wanted to salute the designers of that sucker.

The family enjoyed the Dudely Do-Right waterfall ride. I stayed behind, because it left you drenched in bleach. They loved it. Turned right around and took it again, in fact. I started getting ill just from proximity to the fumes. I did not appreciate my weakness in this area.

The Jurassic Park ride was well done. Good dinosaurs.

There was another rollercoaster by the name of ‘Dueling Dragons’ that was pretty good, and made everyone else in the family sick. Hurray for minimal susceptibility to motion sickness?

Sunday, we got on the ship. It was big. We had 26 of us on it.

It was quite awesome. :)

Settlers of Catan was a *big* hit... I think most of my out-of-town family are going to be buying it for Xmas gifts this year. :) Many Cruisers were quite curious about it, two other strangers actually recognized it. It was great fun... I'm so glad I took it.

I've got photographic evidence of them playing it too! No one can deny it! Mwahahaahhaah!

Anyway, the ship. It is odd... most people say the negatives go away with time and you remember the positives, but I find the further I get from the ship the more things I find that kinda bugged me. Let's stick on the positive for now, though. On the ship, it was awesome... as is expected on a cruise, gluttony was a trivial vice to indulge in. It was clean, there was always something to do, and the scenery was great. Plus, you know, being surrounded by 26 other wild and unbalanced Rawlukians made it a lively affair. :)

Oh, and I bought art! In an auction sale! It is pretty! One piece came with me, the other two through Fed-Ex later. Exciting and luxurious! It is a pity the auctioneer ended up jerking my chain as much as he did after the sale... damned used car salesman. But that is a long, rambling and uninteresting story that isn't wrapped up yet, so I shall pass on elaboration at this time.

The excursions were slick. I hit:

Key West: Went Kayaking amongst the mangroves. The guide would periodically reach down and pull up some critter of some variety. The sun was bright, the water calm, and the area teaming with life. Great fun! And I never capsized! Not even once! It felt like camp, but, you know... better! Not having hecklers from shore saying how much you suck makes a great difference when it comes to enjoying water sports!

Belize: Poor country. Impoverished country. Depressing countryside. Excursion was Cave-Tubing. AWESOME. We hiked through the forest with an inner tube, our guide dropped us into a slow moving river that cut through a series of caves, gave us a headlight. Amazingly beautiful and fun. Saw some bats. Felt the urge to sing the 'Batty Batty Bat" song... grudgingly resisted it. Likewise, I with some lamentation chose not to adopt their visage and fight crime. Best excursion of the trip.

Guatemala: Poor, but much better off then Belize. Went to see some Archeological Ruins there, which had neat history-pillars describing the goings-on of the Kings of the area. (Being Mayan, such generally involved cutting off heads or plucking out hearts, but them's the burdens of royalty, I suppose.) On the bus ride there, I sat next to a nice old lady from the Air America group who were also on the ship with us and apparently reaffirmed the popular wisdom that Canadians know much more about American politics then most Americans do. Apparently pedagoguery helps now and then. Go Canada?

Mexico: Tourist trappy. Obnoxious and pushy merch sellers were pretty much the state of affairs. Went to see more Mayan ruins, this time the pyramids and the like. They were alright, I suppose... I enjoyed the Guatemalan more. Plus, our tour guide in Guatemala was so enthusiastic it really livened up the tour, whereas our guide here was mostly... sleepy. Bleh. The relatives who like either shopping or beaches had a blast, so the stop wasn't a bust, but was probably the weakest of the stops, in my instance.

Being off the ship now, it is odd, but standing in place, or sitting on a chair, and I keep feeling like the ground is moving. It is funny how 7 days on a ship can affect one's autonomous systems. It's kinda neat feeling. Of course, much of this could be from that damned ear pressure equalization failure messing with my inner ear. Always possible. Oh, and its time to board again. Better pack up...

And, I'm back, its the next day. Got my pictures developed... not too many shots of my fingers, thankfully. Ran into Matthew in the mall, whereupon he seemed uncomprehending and uncomfortable when I intercepted him to say hello... I am hoping I have not somehow, while on the ship, crossed into an alternate reality whereupon none of you people actually know me, and are still scratching your heads wondering at this weird rambling spam you got in your mail box while being puzzled about when I'll finally get to the point about telling you about the Nigerian prince I know who needs help getting his money out of the country. Or perhaps in this reality it is Connecticut princes who do that? I dunno. It is an odd, snow-coloured world out there. Anything could be the case.

Sleeping in my own bed felt very nice. My throat has relaxed quite a bit, and the ears aren't 100% but very bearable. One more day off, then back to the grind. On that note, after I send this out, I guess I should check the ol' work e-mail again... managed it once in Tampa, but couldn't manage such from the ship.

Oh yes, internet service on the ship. TERRIBLE. I know they have to use the satellite communication for networking at sea, but charging 75 cents a minute for service that was down for half the trip and then worse-then-modem the rest of it was insulting. Printing services never did get their 'out of order' signs taken down. MS Veendam IT Officer, I call you out, sir! (Yes, that is an official officer position. They get their own shoulder swirlies for it and everything.) You have been derelict in your duties! I recommend... the plank.

While I vent... let it be known that the Veendam was *not* a non-smoking vessel. And the Internet Cafe was near the casino. And opposite the casino was one of the major hallways which lead to, well... most everything. To bypass it you would have to climb to another deck, cross, then come back down. You would want to bypass it because it STANK of smoke. This did not assist with the already labourously over-mentioned bleach situation.

There was a jewelry shop that deck as well. Didn't mean much to me. Mom is pretty sure she caught the clerk there rigging the incentive draw. (Buy something worth blah, get a ticket, end of cruise, they draw a ticket, if person with ticket is there when they do it, they get prize. Or, in this case, have clerk look into box, fish out a specific ticket, declare that person the winner, say tough luck to everyone else standing around. Fix! Fix!) I asked her whether she reported it, she said no, they wouldn't do anything and she can't *prove* it, anyway. I tell her I am disappointed with that course of action. She shrugs, says it isn't a big deal. I think she just doesn't want it tainting the memory of the cruise and wants to drop it, so I'll oblige.

So, anything else? Looking up through the novel it appears I have written, I'd have to say... yes, but I'll spare you from it. Suffice it to say it was great to see the relatives, the theme parks and excursions were quite the experience, I'm sad my brother couldn't go, I feel sorry for how utterly exhausted the child-wielding relatives were, I was kinda uncomfortable with the feeling that the Philippino / Indonesian crew acted more like *servants* then *employees*, most of the on-ship merchants were varyingly corrupt, I do not photograph well, it was kinda depressing to have my cabin only to myself, the water and waves were awesome, and I would do the whole thing again. In a couple years, at least. :)

- Paladinian

*You arrive to a scene. The area all around you is a plain of lush but unkempt grass. All, that is, but for the rickety old wooden house looming unsteadily before you. An old man sits near it upon an ancient rocking chair, half-asleep, before being roused by your presence. He squints one runny eye and starts shaking his cane vigorously towards you with trembling, degenerate arms. The pathetic sight seems dedicated to making statements about his lawn and darned kids staying off it, but midway through the Webmaster loses interest in the joke and resignedly flops back into the chair. The scenery subtly shifts back to the glaring yellow and black of the website, slowly enough for you to avert your eyes and spare yourself the discomfort of retina burns. He takes off the comically long wizard beard he had been wearing as prop and tosses it to the corner, where it takes on the shape and demeanor of an agitated squirrel. He greets you.*

Sorry about that. It was perhaps more amusing the first dozen times I claimed the scene. I think I'm about done with it. *He points disinterestedly at the nearby calendar. You see one date marked with large, ominous circles, and a series of "X"s preceding it, through it, and now overtaken it.* Yes, the day has come and has gone, and I now number amongst the ranks of the tridecadians.

It is odd, this. I must confess, in the increasingly ancient past, when Trollman made reference to a profound melancholy upon surpassing the age of which ADVENTURE! (and, possibly, Super-Powers?) most commonly affected story characters of interest, I found myself... not unsympathetic, no... but not quite fully understanding of the full depth of the emotion? I did not feel the same temporal restrictions of potential then. There felt to be still plenty of time for reinventation! Adventure! Transformation!

I believe, now, to understand the sentiment rather more completely... the point of such transgression was simply translated further along the time axis for me, I suppose. There is indeed now the melancholy of realization that many of the dreams and potentials (fantastic or not) of the yesterdays are now locked in near-geologically dense strata of inertia and banality.

It is not a focus on time, it needs to be said. The year making its circuit has no inherent physicallity. Midnight did not carry some glamour of my being away, leaving some old banal husk to slowly wither and die, empty and consequenceless. No, rather, it is the understanding and acceptance that any schemes or hopes I had vaguely clung to... it is not that they aren't possible, it is that I accept that their realization has failed simply due to their inability to motivate lasting changes. If the shoe fits, wear it, as they say... or, I would infer, the corollary, if the shoe doesn't fit, don't expect your feet will instead give in. I am me. Hopes based on being someone else... no, more accurate to say rather on being me but more than me... argh... I lose focus in word-talking. Suffice it to say I've got to instead focus on finding what will work for me, now, not what alternate me might work best later.

It is a focus smaller in scope but one I still find painfully indefinite. That relationship efforts have been most fundamentally unsuccessful is a given. Whatever I'm doing now, it ain't working. So what change? Internet Dating Sites? I suppose that is a valid tool, but one which fills me with a skittering dread and apprehension. I had hopes for Fringe volunteering as possible social exposure, and really, I can't complain about my experiences therein... the Fringe was a great experience. It really had me feeling like a member of society, rather then someone tapping away at a computer in the background, observing from empty, distant safety. But in terms of "meeting someone", no, not so much that. But there has been claims made by others that interests directed upon my person pass by obliviously. So who knows?

Conversely my efforts to discern possible alternate career paths of greater social consequence and personal fulfillment come up blank. I am too socially awkward to be a cop... teacher... psychologist. Too unfit and cold-adapted to be a fireman. Too non-violent, and too much a free-thinker to be military. Too uncharismatic to be political... besides, I generally presume that if Dr. Bill indicates that he would never vote for me, the reasons are most certainly sound and should be heeded. The artistic fields held interest, but it is undeniable now that it proves too difficult to motivate myself for my own purposes. And I get too needy on feedback... really, too needy to an unhealthy degree. No, my contribution to the artistic fields is probably only achievable in the support role aspect, not so much the lead (though attaching oneself to a talent seems disturbingly lamprey-like and proves a pathetic, discomforting image).

Perhaps simply "Lifeing" it at the current establishment should be accepted (presuming they hang on to me for such an extent)? There are much worse fates. Should I accept the career state and focus on the relationship ambitions? Or continue to puzzle out the career question and trust that somehow the relationship issue will resolve itself on its own? Increasingly, such seems the indulgent choice.

Argh, I don't know. I've got to think on it more. But increasingly I suspect I just don't have the head for it.

Anyway, I think this has been perhaps enough rambling and navel gazing for one post. Thank you for indulging me! I should presume it to be your birthday gift to me! And a most generous gift indeed! I am most fortunate indeed!

May existance prove most agreeable to you!

- Paladinian